"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. "

01 January 2011

Up in Flames

We may have found ourselves a new ritual to ring in the New Year. As I said in my last entry, B and I decided to spend the last few days of 2010 at my parents' cabin. We hiked, read books, napped, drank some yummy beer and mostly detached from the real world for a few days.  We intended to do some cross country skiing too, but the snow melted. I wish the weather would figure out what it wants to do with itself. I really do love winter and would prefer there be snow on the ground if its going to be so cold. Somehow it makes the cold more tolerable.

Anyways, we had a brilliant idea, albeit not original, to write down the things we wanted to let go of from 2010.

And then we made a beautiful fire in the fireplace and tossed the list into the flames. With that, we hope to put the anxiety, depression, jealousy, fear and dissapointments of 2010 to rest. We said good-bye to the following information searching and efforts towards our baby:
  • exploratory laparoscopy
  • 10+ vials of blood taken to test for various blood and immune disorders
  • drives to and from Chicago in the same day to participate in an IVF clincal trial
  • a failed IVF clinical trial, not only failed, but horrendus day of transfer
  • nasty nasty chinese herbal tea, boiled, strained, choked down
  • another SHG
  • acupuncture with two different acupuncturists
  • an amazing amount of supplements
And hopefully we said good by to our last year of being without a child....

(oh, and yes, I finally downloaded the hipstamatic app for my iphone) 

Thank you B for helping me through 2010. It wasn't an easy one, but you made it as easy as it could be. I love you with all of my heart and I hope and pray that 2011 brings us our baby, because I don't want to repeat another year like the last few.


  1. I hope 2011 brings happiness, peace, and joy your way!!!!

  2. I love this idea, what a great sympbolic way to say goodbye (and good ridance).
    happy new year and hoping for all good things for you in 2011.

  3. Hi Kathleen,

    I happened upon your blog through Sarah's blog, whom I met because my baby was stillborn. In the midst of this loss, I have been reading about IVF because my best friend is doing it this month. Life is complicated, isn't it? I hope 2011 brings you your much-wanted baby and I hope it's filled with goodness and light for all of us.

  4. That is a great idea! Best of luck in 2011!

  5. I love this! You guys are awesome! And I just love reading about the strength of yours & B's relationship. Wishing you so much luck for 2011!!

  6. I love your symbolic way of saying goodbye!

  7. That sounds a awful lot like a list I'd like to throw away. Good luck in 2011!

  8. Wow! What a fantastic ritual for every New Year! I may have to steal it. :-)

    P.S. What the heck is a hipstamatic app? I'm so totally Blackberry...lol!