"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. "

20 October 2010

Over Before It Began

Yesterday we had 3 fertlized eggs. Today they were supposed to divide into 2 cells or even 4 cells.
Today we have none. They didn't divide. They stopped.

No embryos = No transfer = Not pregnant...once again.

I'm numb, angry, pissed, frustrated, confused, broken hearted...
They are still going to make me call into the lab tomorrow to see if maybe, by miraculous chance, they begin to divide... yeah... right.

The only thing positive I can come up with is the following: At least I didn't have to pay for this, well, other than time off work, gas and emotional pain and suffering.

Fuck.

15 comments:

  1. Kathleen I am so sorry (((BIG HUG)))

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  2. Hi, I'm a former lurker who just read this news. You were just starting to feel more optimistic and then this. Sucks. I feel for you. I hate that this has to be so hard for all of us. Sending my love...

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  3. I am so, so sorry. My very first IVF cycle we did not have anything to transfer, that was by far my hardest cycle as it felt so hopeless. I hope that there is better news to follow and that new protocol gives you better results (as we were able to do since I did transfer on IVF 2,3, and 4).
    thinking of you and sending love your way.

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  4. I'm so so sorry for this news. I hope you're able to get some answers soon. {{{HUG}}}

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  5. I am devastated to read your last few posts. I am so so sorry. While the financial part helps, it doesn't take away any of the emotional pain and loss of hope I know you are experiencing. While this is your time to be mad, sad, frustrated and everything in between, I just want to share with you one small piece of my story you can tuck away for a brighter day. Like you, I had great results in my first 2 IVF cycles, getting over 20 eggs each. My third cycle, I only got 8 eggs. I was devastated. I, too, thought it must be because I am getting older, my body is used to this and is done responding. I just went through my 4th cycle in Sept. and got 22 eggs. So, I share this simply to tell you that if you decide to do another cycle, there is much reason to believe that this cycle was a “fluke.” Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

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  6. Kat... Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! I am so, so sorry!!

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  7. Oh BUGGER! (as we say in Oz) Do they have any idea why this happened? Lots of hugs xoxo ICWL

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  8. sending you hugs and thoughts of strength for whatever lies ahead.

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  9. I hardly know what to say...I have no words of encouragement. This. is. devastating. And I'm so so so sorry and upset and at a loss. T & I are both sending our love and hugs. :'-(

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  10. Kathleen I am so sorry! How incredibly frustrating and irritating. I wish I knew what to say, but I've got nothing other than to say I am just so upset with you.

    Sorry I have been a bad blogger during your cycle and wasn't here to support you with comments on every post. :( I've been taking a blog break.

    I am sending you loads of love and prayers as you try to make sense of this and figure out what comes next.

    *hugs*

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  11. That must be utterly devastating. :-( Wishing you a quick emotional recovery, somehow, and I hope your next cycle turns out completely differently.

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  12. ah honey I am so sorry ((( big hugs)))

    Please feel free to email me if you want to talk!!!

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  13. I am so sorry to hear this - my heart is breaking for you! (HUGS)

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  14. I am so sorry. How disappointing, devastating. I hope you find some answers that will help make next time work. Hugs and love to you.

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  15. Oh no. I am so sorry. That really stinks. Take some time and take care of yourself.

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