"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. "

07 October 2010

Game On!

I was going to write about how hectic and unplanned this day was, and how I was missing the remainder of the seminar I was in that I had been anxious about but was actually enjoying and felt really bad about missing. I was going to focus on all of the things that didn't go how I thought they would go today...

But instead, I'm going to focus on the following:

What I learned today:
I learned that I am officially in the free IVF study! I learned that my blood work came back stellar and that I get to start stims.... TOMORROW!!!

What I did well today:
I used the tools that I learned in the seminar to help get my mind out of the usual spiral I go down in my head when I feel like I'm letting people down and worry about what people will think when I didn't do something I was supposed to do. With the help of a new friend, I focused on what I'm excited about and what a great opportunity I have with this cycle.

3 Things I'm grateful for today:
1) B...for bearing with my emotions, freak outs, crying spats and hysterical laughter. And also for what he will bear in the upcoming months. He is my rock
2) Zoe (my pooch)... for being a constant companion, mood lifter, and sympathiser
3) That I have this chance at an IVF cycle, free of charge, another chance to be a step closer to being pregnant.

How am I going to be the best IVF patient this time around:
I am going to acknowledge that I need to be selfish through this and take time for myself and B so we can go through this as mindful as possible. I'm not going to freak out about all of the details that I can not control. I am going to trust that my body will do the absolute best that it can and that no matter what happens, we will survive through this, and find something to be happy about.


On another note, as I mentioned above, I was not hating the seminar that I was so freaked out about. There was not any more parenting talk than a normal day at the office, so I was able to handle it. And... it turns out the instructor had secondary infertility and was never able to conceive a second child. She shared this with me because I approached her before the class to tell her my background and fear after reading the parenting book for homework. She eased my fears and thanked me for being so open.

And I thought to myself, how crazy is that, huh? Serendipitous? The universe sure sends you things that you need at just the right time.


  1. omg, a free IVF trial, how amazing. So happy for you that you were accepted. Good luck with this cycle.

  2. Wow! Tomorrow!?! This is great news (duh) and you sound totally mentally grounded.

    And I am sooo glad that seminar was not a nightmare. Honestly, when I first read about it, I couldn't believe that anyone would think it was appropriate to couch a work seminar in something that is not at all universal. In my job, there are plenty if childless individuals, so that would never fly.

  3. Hooray for the free IVF! That is awesome news! I haven't "known" anyone else who has been selected for a free cycle. I really pray it works!

  4. YAy for getting to start stims! I hope it goes smoothly for you!

  5. I was waiting for this update! Hooray! Keep me posted and I will be thinking of you xoxo

  6. Oh wow, K.....you are going into this cycle with an amazing attitude. I'm so happy for you and elated that the universe sent you your new friend (angel) just when you needed her. ((HUGS)) x 1000

  7. OK, so I'm better late than never on commenting. I'm so excited for you in this cycle and I think you are amazing for having such a positive attitude about it. I sense that you are feeling more at peace and are ready to take on whatever may come with this. Talk about serendipitous!! Love you!!!