"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. "

01 January 2010

I guess its about time to start writing this stuff down

Happy 2010. I suppose since this is the first day of 2010, I ought to talk about how I'm happy to start a new year and look forward to new hope and honor the lessons learned from 2009 and blah blah blah... but I really wanted wanted to start this first entry out w/ a conversation I had a week ago or so... Its been bugging me and I think I need to get it off my chest.

"M's pregnant again"
"Oh, congrats!"
"Yeah, but this is it for them, she has the worst time with her pregnancies"
"Yeah, she's got hemorrhoids"

Hemorrhoids!!! Are you kidding me??? Is that bad? I guess I have no idea really, but I'd trade hemorrhoids for being infertile.

Its those little things that no one really understands why it hurts me to hear them. And I honestly can't expect everyone to understand what it has been like to be 'infertile' for 3 years (ish), or tailor what they say to me because of it. But I do know that it's ok that I react to it when I need to (internally of course, or after the fact to B when he's being the most supportive husband that he knows how to be during our 3 year journey of trying to build our family).

So here I am, on the first day of a new year, reflecting on the pain of the past and hoping the hardest hope of all...that I will become a mom in 2010.

More on the name of the blog soon...


  1. Um, yeah....gimme hemorrhoids ANY DAY over infertility. Bleh!

    Welcome to the world of blogging, my friend. I hope it gives you a WONDERFUL avenue for venting and communing with others who are experiencing the exact same things.

  2. Here here!! To all of the above. Wow, now I'm feeling the pressure to jump into the blogisphere.....hmmm maybe someday.

    Looking forward to your blogs my dear. May they bring you peace and freedom of thought!