Happy ICLW again! For those of you new to my blog, please see the tab above: Our Journey. Thanks for stopping by.
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And now my Ode:
Oh how I miss you, lovely Progesterone
I miss my thick hair
I miss my clear, smooth skin
I miss non-interrupted sleep
I miss my calm, peaceful demeanor
Oh how I miss you, lovely Progesterone
Won't you come back to stay?
(At least for 9 months???)
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There must really be something to that 'pregnant glow', huh? As my body comes down from the meds from my last failed IVF cycle, I see my normal hormone glitches taking over. My hair feels less full, my skin is more oily, I'm breaking out like a teenager and I'm edgier than hell. These are all signs to me that my natural body rhythms just aren't quite right.
I was talking with my RE about it at my WTF appointment last friday (yes, I still need to fess up about that.... in due time, my pretties) and telling her how much I love being on Progesterone, how calm and healthy I feel. And she tells me that likely my stress hormones are dominating (YA THINK???) and its causing excess androgens, leading to the skin imbalances, among others...Progesterone combats that. Progesterone is just fantastic really, it helps reduce inflammation in the body! It actually is necessary for implantation to allow for the embryo to implant into the uterine lining and not have the immune system get pissed off and kick it out. Its one of amazing little reactions that happen in our bodies when one gets pregnant, or so I'm told.
Anyways, enough of the science lesson. For now, I'm just wishing that my body was still happily puffed up from the progesterone, anxious about our next steps, and aching to feel a baby growing inside me...
Showing posts with label Progesterone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Progesterone. Show all posts
21 February 2011
07 February 2011
2ww Writers Block
I've been struggling to write any posts during this 2ww. I think its because I'm trying to detach myself from this process even though I know if I have a negative outcome, it will still hurt. During the 2ww, I'm pretty much a mess. Internally, I'm up and down emotionally. Externally, I may seem stoic or pensive or happy. Sometimes a twinge here or there gives me a little glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, this could finally be our time, but deep down, I really don't think this worked. I still have a few days to wait until my blood test, so I will dutifully take my progesterone, like a good little IVF patient, and hope that I'm one of those lucky women who get pregnant w/o really feeling anything... In my heart of hearts I feel that we'll be thawing those 2 little frosties for one last attempt with my genetics....
For now, my quietness is simply a sign that I'm trying to focus on anything but infertility for the next few days, even though my mind can think of nothing else...
For now, my quietness is simply a sign that I'm trying to focus on anything but infertility for the next few days, even though my mind can think of nothing else...
29 January 2011
3 in the Freezer
We went to the clinic yesterday to check on our 6 embryos and decide whether or not to transfer this month or freeze all due to my higher progesterone number on day of trigger. The night before, B and I had made our decisions based on scenarios of how many we have left. 6 was easy - transfer 2, freeze 4. 4 was easy - freeze all. But 5 was a little less so... transfer none? 1? or 2?
B actually wasn't there yet because his work schedule is such that he can't just leave work at any given time. He's a teacher and finding a sub for just an hour or two of his classes is difficult at his school. He said if we did transfer, he wouldn't be able to be there until just at the time of transfer. They had ME arrive an hour before.
So I went into the prep room with the hospital bed, gown and warm blanket and waited to talk with my RE before I got undressed. She came in with a big smile: 5! and 4 of which were grade A ( yes, they grade them like beef). But then we sat there together in the room trying to think of the best plan.
You see, nothing is really clear cut in this infertility world. Even last night as I looked up studies on pubmed there's conflicting information about serum progesterone levels on day of trigger. Some studies say it predicts lower pregnancy rates and therefore the best course of action is to freeze all and do an FET, others, not so much. But what really helped me to make my decision was not the numbers, but the visual look of my uterine lining.
A little science lesson: Before ovulation and before the uterus is exposed to progesterone, the uterine lining should look something like this (not mine, just a good pic on the in internet):
You can see there, what they call the 'triple stripe. Its the part where the thin white line is surrounded by some darker grey area and the a different white outline of the uterine lining. That's the area that gets shed every month when a woman gets her period. This is what we want the uterus to look like on the day of ovulation (or retrieval in and IVF cycle).
Once the uterus has been exposed to higher levels of progesterone, which in a natural cycle occurs right after ovulation and in an IVF cycle occurs on the day of retrieval when we start progesterone supplements, the lining starts to look more homogeneous, ie, no distinct triple stripe pattern.
My RE said that even though my progesterone numbers were a higher than they would like, she checked the pattern of my lining on the day of retrieval and it still looked 'triple striped.'
As she and I sat in the prep room yesterday trying to make our decision, I went back to these following facts: My body still "looked" receptive and on IVF #1, I did actually get pregnant, albeit a chemical pregnancy, even though my progesterone was high then too. As I said in my last post, science is fantastic for helping us make a good decision, but sometimes you just have to throw your hands up and roll the dice. And with that, we made the decision to freeze the 3 best looking embryos and transfer the remaining 2. It just felt like the right thing to do.
So here I am, saying hello to the 'two week wait' again.
Now, how do I get through these next few weeks with some sanity???
B actually wasn't there yet because his work schedule is such that he can't just leave work at any given time. He's a teacher and finding a sub for just an hour or two of his classes is difficult at his school. He said if we did transfer, he wouldn't be able to be there until just at the time of transfer. They had ME arrive an hour before.
So I went into the prep room with the hospital bed, gown and warm blanket and waited to talk with my RE before I got undressed. She came in with a big smile: 5! and 4 of which were grade A ( yes, they grade them like beef). But then we sat there together in the room trying to think of the best plan.
You see, nothing is really clear cut in this infertility world. Even last night as I looked up studies on pubmed there's conflicting information about serum progesterone levels on day of trigger. Some studies say it predicts lower pregnancy rates and therefore the best course of action is to freeze all and do an FET, others, not so much. But what really helped me to make my decision was not the numbers, but the visual look of my uterine lining.
A little science lesson: Before ovulation and before the uterus is exposed to progesterone, the uterine lining should look something like this (not mine, just a good pic on the in internet):
You can see there, what they call the 'triple stripe. Its the part where the thin white line is surrounded by some darker grey area and the a different white outline of the uterine lining. That's the area that gets shed every month when a woman gets her period. This is what we want the uterus to look like on the day of ovulation (or retrieval in and IVF cycle).
Once the uterus has been exposed to higher levels of progesterone, which in a natural cycle occurs right after ovulation and in an IVF cycle occurs on the day of retrieval when we start progesterone supplements, the lining starts to look more homogeneous, ie, no distinct triple stripe pattern.
My RE said that even though my progesterone numbers were a higher than they would like, she checked the pattern of my lining on the day of retrieval and it still looked 'triple striped.'
As she and I sat in the prep room yesterday trying to make our decision, I went back to these following facts: My body still "looked" receptive and on IVF #1, I did actually get pregnant, albeit a chemical pregnancy, even though my progesterone was high then too. As I said in my last post, science is fantastic for helping us make a good decision, but sometimes you just have to throw your hands up and roll the dice. And with that, we made the decision to freeze the 3 best looking embryos and transfer the remaining 2. It just felt like the right thing to do.
So here I am, saying hello to the 'two week wait' again.
Now, how do I get through these next few weeks with some sanity???
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