"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. "

07 February 2011

2ww Writers Block

I've been struggling to write any posts during this 2ww. I think its because I'm trying to detach myself from this process even though I know if I have a negative outcome, it will still hurt. During the 2ww, I'm pretty much a mess. Internally, I'm up and down emotionally. Externally, I may seem stoic or pensive or happy.  Sometimes a twinge here or there gives me a little glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, this could finally be our time, but deep down, I really don't think this worked. I still have a few days to wait until my blood test, so I will dutifully take my progesterone, like a good little IVF patient, and hope that I'm one of those lucky women who get pregnant w/o really feeling anything...  In my heart of hearts I feel that we'll be thawing those 2 little frosties for one last attempt with my genetics....

For now, my quietness is simply a sign that I'm trying to focus on anything but infertility for the next few days, even though my mind can think of nothing else...
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20 comments:

  1. Anonymous07 February, 2011 08:32

    The 2WW is SO hard--don't be too hard on yourself. Crossing my fingers for you! (And you're not out until it's over--symptoms don't mean anything.)

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  2. Gurlee07 February, 2011 08:59

    I have been thinking of you. Whatever it takes to get you through, we've got your back. I didn't feel a thing when I was briefly knocked up except for extreme thirst, don't give up hope. I really, really hope this is it for you. Sending you good thoughts and love!

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  3. A.07 February, 2011 09:13

    (((hugs))) Sending tons of good vibes your way. I completely understand the 2ww silence - there is so much action and activity and what-ifs building up to it and then suddenly, there's not a whole lot to do but sit tight. I really hope you will have good news in the next few days!

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  4. Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.?07 February, 2011 09:21

    Ugg...the tww is the worst! Stay positive and hang in there!

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  5. RunningMama07 February, 2011 10:17

    It's so hard during the two week wait. I had zippy symptoms when I was pregnant with my son and have nothing now.

    I'm WAAY to positive this two week wait. I'm elated and so hopeful. I should know better. I've been through this before. I just feel like we have a decent shot this time.

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  6. Infertile Farmer07 February, 2011 11:11

    I totally hear ya! It is SO SO hard not to read into what we are or aren't feeling. I'll just remind you that I was 99% sure that this cycle didn't work for me (none of my usual symptoms were present) and I was totally wrong, and I am totally someone that used to pride myself on "knowing my body." Pffft. how wrong I was! Point is, you just never know. I am rooting for you like crazy!!!

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  7. Marissa07 February, 2011 13:33

    Good luck!!!

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  8. Maggie07 February, 2011 21:32

    Joining the chorus of folks rooting for you! I am very hopeful and will stay that way for you :)

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  9. Cherm07 February, 2011 23:27

    You know I'm thinking of you lady...These are THE longest weeks in our lives! I've still got your hope and it's OK to be up and down...you're not alone. Do those little things that make you happy right now. xo

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  10. Nick and Kristi08 February, 2011 07:51

    Hang in there girlie...Your almost there:) Just to let you know with this pregnancy I really didnt have any signs...nor sore boobs...cramping..nada...so sometimes being symptomless doesnt mean your not pregnant:)

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  11. Anonymous08 February, 2011 07:54

    xoxo

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  12. Mommy08 February, 2011 09:11

    Just wanted you to know that I try and keep up with your blogas much as possible.... and you are truly in my prayers. You are a strong lady with a lot of heart and love to give ... Hang in there!

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  13. jill's infertility document08 February, 2011 11:10

    I'll be quietly thinking of you.

    I wish I had some kind of magical 2ww time spell to get you through, this wait especially.

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  14. LisaB08 February, 2011 11:21

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

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  15. Chelle08 February, 2011 21:47

    I do the same thing. I barely posted during my last TWW because I just couldn't bring myself to delve into the land of infertility blogging. I don't know what it is. It has to be some kind of defense mechanism.

    I am praying for you. So very hard. I would love nothing more than to hear you got a BFP. Even more than I would love to get my own BFP.

    I've got my fingers and toes crossed. I'll braid my hair too. And I'll cross all of my dogs toes if it will help.

    *HUGE hugs*

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  16. RunningMama09 February, 2011 08:13

    So--you feeling anything??? Are you going to do a HPT? Thinking about you...going crazy during this wait w/ you:> I hope it works out for both of us and then we can blog about running during our pregnancies and other fun stuff. K

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  17. Sarah09 February, 2011 10:27

    I am thinking and praying for you every day!!!

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  18. RunningMama09 February, 2011 12:02

    HOW can you not love oranges ALL the time???

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  19. Cherm09 February, 2011 21:29

    Thinking of you friend...sending you big XOXO's

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  20. Sarah10 February, 2011 09:09

    Sending you lots of (((hugs))) I know you are nearing the end of the 2WW

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